Wiped Out.....

Poor little devil...Chuppy's had quite the week of unfortunate events...
and they have left the little guy completely wiped out. A quick recap of what he has endured.....
Monday......stroll through pumpkin patch results in bee sting on nose. Nose swells
to 3 times normal size, has difficulty breathing, scares me to death.
After dose of Benadryl, breathing returns to normal.....the nose is not
so lucky....
Tuesday....scheduled to visit the vet for shots and the ole "snip snip". Just before
departing, climbs the tree, sits in sap....and meets the vet with a swollen
nose and a sappy ass.
Wednesday....did NOT like the vet. Nose still swollen...
Thursday....infection starting where stinger remains in nose. Meets "tweezers" for
the first time.
Friday.........cut paw pad on unidentified object.....has developed slight limp and tends to
veer to the left.
(returning to vet Monday for booster shots, nose job, and paw pad repair....assuming of course, that I can get him back into the cat carrier...)

Nap

Definitions.....

Purranoia.........The fear that your cat is up to something.
Purrfume...........The scent of an open can of tuna.
Human................An automatic door opener for cats.
Purrgatory...........A houseful of kittens.
Door...................Something a cat always wants to be on the otherside of.

Currently Reading....

Please Help.....

Please help the animal victims of Hurricane Katrina.....
Noah's Wish is a one of a kind organization dedicated to helping the animal victims of natural disasters.......already they are rescuing pets and wildlife left in Katrina's wake.....
and they need our help. Please visit their website at http://www.noahs-wish.org/ and donate whatever you can to help them in this monumental undertaking......they are true angels for the animals........

Aye Aye Captain.....

Quick Quirks.....

Things my weirdo cats do.....
*Lucie......will attempt to kill (or at the very least, maim) anyone using scotch tape in her presence.
*Chuppy....plays "fetch" with rocks (not pebbles...rocks, pretty good sized ones at that)
* Ezzie.....takes all of the pots and pans out of the cupboards if you piss him off.
*Monkey.....sits on the washing machine and wails when his "blankie" is in the wash (he moves to the dryer when it's drying).

Monkey........

Isn't he Gorgeous.....

At Attention........

Signs Your Cat May Be Trying To Kill You.....

Signs your cat may be trying to kill you.....

* Seems awfully chummy with the dog all of the sudden.
* He actually does have your tongue.
* Cyanide pawprints all over the house.
* As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.
* Droppings in the litter box spell out "REDRUM".
* Takes attentive notes whenever "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.
* Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
* Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.
* Now sharpens claws on your brakelines.

Do You Mind????

Comfy?

Sticker Patrol.....

Peapod (who is going by the name of "Chuppy" this week...no idea why) is the littlest one of my furlines and the only one cursed with long, fluffy, fur. Now don't get me wrong....the fluffiness is adorable and all, but for a kitten living in the country.....it is not exactly user friendly. Everytime the poor little guy goes outside, he winds up with 90% of the yard stuck to his butt. I swear he comes in with entire tree branches stuck to the underside of his tail. Then there are the leaves of those really sticky weeds that he ends up wearing like a diaper...very attractive.
I feel so sorry for him.....it has to be ridiculously uncomfortable....and I'm sure he wonders why the other (short hair) cats do not suffer the same condition. I spend quite a lot of time on sticker patrol nowadays....
high maintenance little devil.

(sticker pickin' the tail...none to happily....)

Disturbing Myself....

Okay...I have just completed my first week as a non-smoker. Yep, I quit. Yeah Me.
Woo Hoo.
I'm a real treat to be around let me tell ya. Just a tad bit edgy, really.
Don't be afraid.
I won't bite...maybe.
Just got to love these damn nicotine patches though. I am starting to wonder if they are more addictive/harmful than the cigs were. They say you have very vivid dreams when using the patch....and by vivid I mean horribly-realistic-psyche-disturbing-Elm-Street-resident-type-nightmares.
Last nite I dreamt that I chopped off Lucie's tail with an ax.
Took three whacks.
I find this rather disturbing....I rather like Lucie's tail. It is not nearly as long as Monkey's, or as fluffy as Peapod's...but it is quite nice as far as tails go. And it has a wicked "thwack" when she gets pissed off.
I like the wicked thwack.
What an awful dream.
Very disturbing.
I think I'll stay up tonight.

Warning: May Cause Cavities.....

Is this too sweet or what????

Signs that your Cat is too Fat......

* Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener.

*Confused guests always mistaking him for beanbag chair.

* Always lands on his spleen.

* Fifteen months gestation and still no kittens.

* No longer cleans himself unless coated in cheez whiz.

* Luxurious shiny black coat replaced with mint green polyester pantsuit.

* No longer safe to pick him up without a spotter.

* Waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky.

* He only catches the mice that get caught in his gravitational pull.

* Has more chins than lives.

Lip........Stick

So last night, I'm sitting in my usual spot (at the computer) doing my usual thing (fartsing around) when the usual quiet is disturbed by a very unusual noise. It was somewhere between a whine and a wail, with a bit of whimper towards the end....and it kept getting louder and louder.
So I listened.
And I'm thinkin'.....
"Does'nt sound like a bird.
But we do have an awful lot of weird sounding birds around here.
Remember the freakin' peacock?
Maybe it's a bird.
It'd be a damn big bird tho.
Naw, can't be a bird.
A dog?
Could be a dog.
Yeah, like a dog could get within 10 feet of this place without the cats tearing down the door running for cover.
Besides...a dog would bark.
One would think anyway.
Ok, not a dog.....maybe one of the horses got hurt??
What does a horse sound like when it's hurt?"
........and then it hit me......
the noise had a strangely familiar sound to it...but I couldn't quite put my finger on it...so I had to get my lazy ass up and go investigate.
So I go open the front door and what do I find???
My cat Monkey sitting on the doorstep with a 6 inch lizard stuck to his lip. Just dangling there.
Ouch.
Damn thing wouldn't let go either, I had to pry it's little jaws open....which was an interesting task.
The lizard was no worse for the wear, though clearly not fond of being used as a cat toy.....
Monkey's lip is a bit tender...I'm thinkin' he won't be playing with any reptiles for awhile.

Bath......

Indications That Cats are the Evolutionary Descendants of Dragons......

1. Ability to invoke fear with minor changes of facial expression.
2. Really wicked breath.
3. Enjoys toying with mortals.
4. They are constantly offered gifts in order to appease their wrath.
5. They have the ability to gain total control over the humans in their territory.
6. Claws that can decimate the toughest armor (or upholstery).
7. Affinity for high perches from which it can survey all that it controls.
8. The size of its ego is consistent with that of its evolutionary forebearers.
9. Habit of playing with food.
10. Ability to monitor its territory while seemingly asleep.

Baby Blues.....

Look at those baby blues!!
"Loki and Caliope"

Little Licker......

Little Licker Leo.....

Camouflage.....

Cat Resolutions......

1. I will not flush the toilet when my human is in the shower.
2. As fast as I am, I must remember that I cannot outrun closed doors.
3. I will not lean over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then run screaming into the box of clumping cat litter.
4. I will not back up and fall off of the porch just as my human is telling her friend how graceful I am.
5. I will not bite my human on the butt when she is sitting on the big white drinking bowl.
6. I will not complain that my butt is wet and that I am thirsy after sitting in my water dish.
7. I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I shall not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.
8. When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.
9. I will not swat at my human's head repeatedly when she is in the living room trying to do sit ups.
10. I will not eat spider plants and hallucinate behind the toilet.
11. I will not drag the magnets off of the refrigerator and then bat them underneath it so they adhere to the underside.
12. I will not intrude on my human's candle-lit bubble bath and singe my butt.
13. I will no longer attempt to read my human's book or newspaper by sitting my butt down on it. I will no never grow eyes there no matter how hard I try.
14. If I sit in the sink when my human brushes her teeth, I will not get angry when she spits toothpaste on me.
15. If I MUST claw my human. I will not do it in such a way that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

Guess Who........

Mama Lucie......

Leo

Snuzzle.....

"Snuzzle"....A snooze and a snuggle......

Things Cats Must Try to Remember.....

THINGS CATS MUST TRY TO REMEMBER.....


1. Screaming at the can of tuna will not make it open itself.

2. I should not assume that the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

3. If I put a live mouse in my food dish, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

4. The guinea pig likes to sleep once in awhile....I will not watch it constantly.

5. If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

6. Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

7. The canned food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting it all over the kitchen floor.

8. I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.

9. I will never be able to walk on the ceiling and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any
closer.

10. The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in it's bowl.

11. If my human wants to share her sandwich with me she will give me a piece. She will notice if I
start eating it from the other end.

12. The large dog in the backyard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out everytime I see it.

Foliage Faux Paux.......

Once again, here is more proof that I am destined to walk forever hand in hand with rotten luck......
(a fact that I have long since become accustomed to, but still find quite bothersome)
As some of you may be aware of, I just recently moved with my cache of cats, from a suburban apartment complex to a cute little house in the country (10 acres....about as country as it gets round here). This has provided a plethera of new and unusual ways for the kitties to amuse, terrify, gross out, piss off, and freak me out....a fact they dilligently remind me of on a daily basis. I have learned quite a bit this past month via their adventures....i.e.
Dawn gets oil off of kitten
Jif gets sap off of Monkey
Kitten does not like bath
Monkey can shred a rodent into 400 million pieces
Tiny frogs will hop in the house when it rains
Peacocks make an awful noise
The list goes on and on............
I have also learned a few things from the things I learned from their adventures....(did ya follow that??)
For example...Monkey's little tree sap mishap inspired me to do a bit of research on the types of plants that are toxic to cats. There are plenty of them, let me tell ya. Christmas is quite the hazardous holiday for the feline as poinsettias, mistletoe, and the tree itself can be toxic to them.....how festive.
I also discovered that two of the most toxic flowering plants...the Asian Lily and the Day Lily...
I recently planted in my front yard.
Woo Hoo yeah me.

Pinned......