Shock the Monkey.....

Monkey caught his first bird today. I'm not quite sure who was more shocked by this accomplishment...me, Monkey, or the stupid bird. He just kinda sat there with the bird in his mouth a bit confused and completely clueless as to what to do with it. He tried to play with it like he does with his little mice and lizard friends, but all that got him was a mouthful of feathers that he could not spit out. I think he was disappointed that it would be an active participant in his games, and he didn't seem to pleased about the whole feather thing.
Hopefully he will stick to rodents and lizards from now on.....or he'll have to wear a stupid bell....
silly cat.

That Damn Curiousity.....

So, there I am....at the computer typing away as usual, when I am rudely interrupted by the pathetic Lucie whine that I love so much. I choose to ignore her insistent "Merow..Merow..MerOWW" in hopes that she will either wander off or fall asleep, (or wander off TO fall asleep) as I am in no mood for a "Lucie Lovefest" this early in the morning. It soon becomes clear, however, that there will be no end to the incessive crying until some attention to her has been paid.
So, finally I give in and spin my chair around to confront the little nag.....and am instantly thrown into hysterical fits of laughter. Apparently, Lucie had once again let her curiousity get the best of her....an event which tends to result in her snooping around out in the barns. This time she must have found a previously undiscovered hiding place in need of a thorough snoop through because she had the biggest cobweb I have ever seen wrapped entirely around her head and dangling from one ear.
It was absolutely hysterical.
It looked she had on some sort of gothic veil.
With a big earring.
I simply had to get a picture of her before I cleaned her up......

Peapod

Peapod (pre-penzoil)

Oil and Water and kittens (don't mix)

Ok. Not a fun day.

Little Mr. Have-no-fear Peapod had an encounter with Mr. Penzoil somewhere during his morning romp with Monkey, and came home dripping with sticky black oil. This was a first for me. I have dealt with my share of curious cat catastrophes, but never had the pleasure of this fabulous toxic mess. First, I take a quick mental inventory of what I know...

1. He is an absolute mess.

2. He cannot go in the house in such condition....at least not without an escort.

3. He cannot be allowed to self-clean affected body parts.

4. I am going to have to give him a bath.

5. That means water.

6. I am going to need some band-aids.

That leaves me the unanswered questions.....

1. Where the hell did he get into oil?

2. How did Monkey the clutz manage to avoid this fate?

3. What the heck gets oil out of fur?

4. Do I have any band-aids?

So here I am at 9:00 in the morning, trying to keep this greasy little kitten off of the carpets as I google the best oil off fur cleaner.....a task which takes nearly 40 minutes due to the number of times I had to get up and

put his tongue back in his mouth. And the verdict??

Dawn.

Dawn dish soap....

I race to the kitchen and.....I have palmolive.

Damn.

I race next door to my sister's and......

Palmolive.

Damn!!

Palmolive it is going to have to be.....or not.

Though I managed to get the kitten's feet into the sudsy water before he nearly took off my arm, the Palmolive was no match for Mr. Penzoil. Hardly even put up a fight. Wimp.

Time to regroup....I now have a wet, pissed off, greasy, soapy kitten....three other cats looking at me in shock, fear, and disbelief.....seven rather nasty scratches on my arms (one of which will more than likely leave a scar), no more band-aids, a wet kitchen, 30-40 wet towels....and no Dawn.

To Wally World I go.

I secure the dawn, return to the still greasy but finally asleep kitten and......let him sleep.

Didn't have the heart to wake him.

He wakes up 1/2 hour later and it's time to put the dawn to the test.

And what did I learn from this little pop quiz?

Peapod does NOT like water.....not even a little bit.

Peapod can scream Very loud.

Peapod can get all 18 of his claws into one of my arms at the same time.

I should have bought band-aids.

1/2 of a cup of coffee is a lot of liquid when flung onto a wall.

The kitchen floor is VERY slippery when wet.

BUT

Amazingly enough, the .5 seconds that I managed to hold him in the sudsy water was enough for the Dawn to get over half the oil off of him.

Dawn is my hero.

This stuff is awesome.

I will never wash another cat (or dish) in anything else.

Yeah Dawn!!!

So.....Peapod is still a bit slick in spots, but I'm sure he will be fine.

I suspect he won't be sniffing around any oil pans anytime soon.

But I still have to find where Mr. Penzoil is residing.....the jerk.

The Culprit...

It Wasn't Me!!!

Monkey Smuggle.....

Monkey the turd managed to smuggle a mouse into the house at the butt crack of dawn....again.

Drops the poor thing in the middle of the living room and the chase begins. Needless to say, the commotion caught the attention of the other cats and soon there were four of them lumbering about trying to catch this rather elusive rodent. I ended up having to move the furniture to get it out of it's hiding spot, and then I also joined in the chase. With a little help from Peapod, I managed to get the thing by the tail and return it safely to the field....but not before the near destruction of the house. It's quite remarkable how much of a mess one little mouse can inspire. I should invent a "mouse detector" and install in the doorway.....one that would release a dog to chase the cat trying to bring in the mouse to chase in the house.

Oh, that was bad....

Salty 

Basket Babies

Basket Babies

Howdy!

Howdy!

Kitty Contraband.....

I have had to implement a strict "frisking" policy for all felines returning from outdoor adventures.
This is due to a severe increase in the number of prohibited items being smuggled in from the yard.
Items considered to be contraband include:
frogs (and/or toads)
moles
mice
shrews
rats
gophers
lizards
any body part, whole or partial of above listed (innards included)
dirt clods
rocks
weeds
leaves
This policy was put into effect after having been woken up AGAIN at 3 am by Monkey and Peapod playing hockey with a mouse in the kitchen...and by the discovery later that same day....of the lizard Monkey lost four days prior. It was perched on the head of one of my teddy bears and nearly gave me a heart attack.
But, at least it still had it's tail.

Stuck

Stuck.

Did You See That??

Help!!