Caption Me.....

Monkey's Midnight Munchies Mess.....

Such a beautiful morning we had today....the sun was rising, the birds were chirping (and squawking and crowing and cocka-doodle-doing), a lone jack rabbit was snacking on the lawn, the hot air balloons were launching from the field next door.....the perfect morning to sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and watch the kitties chase one another up every tree, over every fence, and through every sticker bush ...(so I can spend an hour brushing them later on). Yes, a gorgeous morning.....till I opened the door.
Bleeechhhh......
Ewwwww....
YUCK!!!
There on the doormat lay what was left of Monkey's midnight snack(s).....I nearly stepped in it (them).
And there sat Monkey proud as a peacock for having been so thoughful as to present such treasures to me.
Lucky me.
I can't be sure, but I think he caught between 3-5 field rodents, (could be mice, could be moles, could be shrew...anybody's guess) tore them into teensy tiny pieces, and then smeared them all over the porch.
Yummy.
Quite artistic, very difficult to clean.
I went through an entire roll of paper towels.
Oh, and the Dawn worked great on the stained pavement. It's Dawn to the rescue again!! Yeah Dawn!
So...the morning's beauty was tainted a bit....compliments of Monkey.....
but it was still a gorgeous day.....

Wanted: Cute, Clever Captions for my Cute, Crazy Cats....

Okay all of you wonderfully creative people....I need your help. I am finally attempting to put all of my kitty pictures in some sort of order and there are a number of them that need a cute, clever caption.....I myself, seem to have reached the limit of my captioning abilities....."caption-closed" if you will.....I draw a complete blank every attempt I make. Sad, but true.
I admit it, I need help.
So, if you are still in possession of your creativity, feel free to add a caption.....
or two, or three, or four....

Here is the first picture....Peapod takin' a snooze......

"HI"

The Vacuum Instinct.....

Riddle me this Batman....
WHAT is it with cats and the frickin' vacuum cleaner??? Exactly when in their genetic history did the instinctive fear of Hoovers appear?? Did it stem from a single incident in one cat's history, or is it a collaboration of numerous traumatic Feline/Hoover encounters?
I know for a fact that none of my cats have ever been victimized by the vacuum cleaner...they have never been run over by it, it has never chased any of them through the house, it doesn't steal their food, bark, or get more attention then they do....so why is it that they all panic whenever I take it out of the closet?? They cause themselves more damage trying to get away from the damn thing than if it actually did run them over. Just opening the closet door can cause a near riot....
One could assume that this behavior is due to the fact that the vacuum cleaner is so incredibly loud...however, my electric can opener is, at times...equally as loud and they will come from miles away to flock around it.
One could assume that it is the combination of the noise and the movement of the vacuum cleaner that causes their reaction....but the fan in the living room moves even faster and is nowhere near quiet yet they have no problems lounging around in front of it all flippin' day.
One could assume that it is the combination of the noise, movement, and the size of the vacuum cleaner that freaks them out so much.....however, I am bigger than the Hoover, am always on the move, and have the tendency to be quite loud....yet they are constantly swarming at my feet so WHAT GIVES??
I am finding it increasingly difficult to accomplish this household chore without causing undue stress on my felines....it has turned into an all day project as I patiently wait for the cats to move from room to room so as not to disturb them with the evil vacuum cleaner. I even bought a little dirt devil type thingy in hopes that it would be less frightening to them.....nope. No luck there.
I give up.
My next house will have hardwood floors...I can tell you that.

This one kills me.....

This would be Leo...no, Peapod....
or Leo....
no, definitely Peapod......
I think.

Deja Vu.....

This is Peapod.....or is it Leo??
Talk about deja vu.....

Yawn...A Tribute to the Weary and the Unimpressed

I just love a good cat yawn....especially the way the whiskers pull forward ever so slightly in anticipation of the event...my sign to get the camera. Did you know that cats view yawns as a sign that you mean them no harm?? You know....
Butt Sniff = Handshake/ "Hi how ya doin"?"/ "Don't I know you?"/ Greeting.

Yawn = No worries/ Not gonna hurt you/ It's all good.......

Try it sometime, it works wonders on freaked out kittens....calms them right down.
Yawns are also contagious and can be hypnotic under the right circumstances.....if used properly, they can put even the most unruly little feline into a deep slumber.
This is my favorite of all the yawnage I have managed to capture on film.
This is my Leo....my sweet baby that I lost a few months back.....my little love that I miss so terribly.

Monkey.....

Monkey's Choose Jif.....

The "outside" has scored yet another victory against my cats...
First it was Peapod vs. Mr. Penzoil....a battle over before it had even begun....and
tonight we were witness to the match between Monkey and "Sir Sap."

With his super long legs and sleek muscular build, Monkey was the crowd favorite...the odds were super-stacked in his favor. Victory was within his grasp.
Early on is appeared as if Monkey would indeed, be declared the champ, but late in the fourth round "Sir Sap" threw an illegal punch (jerk) landing right between the front legs. The blow itself had little affect on our little champ, it was his attempt at removing the substance left by the blow that did him in.
"Sir Sap" is famous for the pungent sticky stuff he deposits on his opponents with each blow.
While uncomfortable to all, this substance is particularly hazardous to those of the fur persuasion, as they are compelled to remove it with their tongues.....a potential toxic disaster.
One lick of the stinky, sticky, crap stuck to his fur and that was it for Mr. Monkey.....he was down for the count.
"Sir Sap" was declared the winner and I rushed to aid our poor defeated champion....great, how the hell do you get sap out of cat fur???
Dawn perhaps???
Nope.....peanut butter.
Ever put peanut butter on your cat? Fun, let me tell ya....oodles of shits and giggles.
Then I got to "comb" the peanut buttery sap off of him as Peapod was trying desperately to get a taste.
Turns out both him and Monkey prefer Jif to Skippy ......not exactly sure how to interpret that but, it's got to mean something.

So, the score stands at:

My Cats: 0

"Outside": 2

I just hope it will be awhile before the next match.......

Feline Funnies......

POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS FOR CAT OWNERS:

My cat does not break things.....she helps gravity do its job.

My cat is not a "shedding-machine".....he is a hair relocation artist.

My cat is not a bed hog......he is a mattress appreciator.

My cat is not a pest......he thinks he is attentive deprived.

My cat is not a ruthless hunter............he is a wildlife control expert.

My cat is not evil.......he is badness enhanced.

My cat is not a hydrophobic......he has an inability to appreciate moisture.

My cat is not lazy......he is motivationally challenged.