What's in a Name????

I do believe that I may have solved the mystery as to why cat's never come when they are called....at least mine that is. I suspect that it has something to do with a condition many pet owners seem to fall victim to....a condition I refer to as "Renamania" (pronounced ree-name-a-nee-uh). This condition strikes pet owners at an alarming rate.....first symptoms can begin as soon as a new pet is aqcuired and without intervention, have been known to last for several years. Humans suffering from "Renamania" feel compelled to provide their pets with an unending supply of nicknames....and nicknames for the nicknames, and so on and so on......
I personally suffer from a rather severe case of "Renamania".....take for example:

Elliot
Nicknames:

Elleree-Elleroo
Ezzoo-Zazoo
Quiz
Quizard
Perpendicular Puppy
Ezziecat
Ezzie

Lucie
Nicknames:

Loola
Lucifina
Lucifina Barbie
Lucifina Barbie Butt
Faloopa
Faloopa Do Nada
Fallon
Fallon Loonan
Powder
Powdered Floo
Powdered Floo Cat Girl
Rooster
Roostafina
Roostafina Shafar Shafish
Sugar
Shug-Shug Shugio
Shafin-Shafar
Pretty
Pretty Girl

Leo
Nicknames:

Leelo
Leelos
Leo Bo-Bo
Rerun
Peapod
Peapod-a-riffic
Squid
Squid Viscious

Monkey:
Nicknames:

Monkey Puppy
Monkey Puppy Toe
Fweapon
Fweapon Doseage
Fwep
Doseage
Dosie
Dosie-Dosie-Doe
Monkey Puppy Pooh Bear

Just to name a few.........Research has shown that the pets of owners striken with this condition are subject to severe confusion and multiple personailities are not uncommon. It stands to reason that the stress of having too many names could result in a sort of "hysterical deafness" thereby causing the pet to be unresponsive to any of them.
That's my theory anyway.
Or perhaps they just prefer to ignore me.