Feline Funnies.....
A few of my personal favorite feline funnies.....from here, there...just about anywhere......
Little Known Feline Ailments:
Feline Intermittent Trance Syndrome:
Intent staring into space or at mundane objects for a substantial length of time.
Symptoms may last from several seconds to several minutes, and in severe cases...many hours.
The world record was set by a Siamese who unblinkingly studied the pattern in a Turkish rug for 3 hours 53 minutes....breaking a long standing record set by a Persian Cross who stared at an exterior brick wall for 3 hours 42 minutes (the presence of ants on the wall led some experts to question the validity of this record).
A reported time of 3 hours 49 minutes by a domestic shorthair was disqualified when the cat was found to have fallen asleep.
"Happy Coat"
(also "Happy Tongue")
A condition most often noted in sleek furred cats.
The cat proceeds to fluff up its fur in pleasure....starting at the base of the tail and continuing forward towards the nose. In extreme cases, the cheeks and forehead also fluff up and the cat is said to have "Purred itself Fuzzy".
"Happy Tongue"
Happy Tongue is signified by a small part of the tongue protruding from the mouth until the cat remembers to tuck it away again.
Seasonally Affective "Door into Summer Syndrome"
This condition was first described by Klaus Strynum in his book of the same name. It manifests at times of inclement weather causing a distinct behavior pattern in the afflicted feline. Once infected, the cat wanders around the house demanding that each external door it comes be immediately opened. On discovering that the weather there is just as nasty and cold as the weather outside the last door inspected, it resumes its frantic search for "The Door into Summer".
The cat remains convinced that one of the doors....on the umpteenth time of opening....will have a beautiful summers day on the other side of it. This affliction is more prevalent in younger cats of an active disposition and is frequently contagious in multi-cat environments.
"Greeblingz"
Greeblingz are believed to be non visible entities that many authorities have linked to UFO sightings feeling that they may be diminitive other-dimensional beings. Cats suffering from the effects of Greeblingz typically have wild-eyed expressions and may appear to be under the influence of a particularly potent batch of catnip. The cat dashes madly throughout the house in pursuit of unseen prey with little or no thought given to obstacles in it's path.....lamps, keepsakes, wall hangings and curtains have been found to be the most common victims, although everything in the household is at risk.
A very few cats are naturally immune to Greeblinz attacks....noone knows why.
In some areas of the world, this condition is also known as "The Flaming Kahooties".
"Fuffling"
The cat lowers its nose into water and exhales.
This is followed by whiffling, sputtering, sneezing, snorting, head shaking and a general expression of utter confusion.
Bath bubbles have been known to trigger attacks of fuffling in some cats, as well as soap suds left in the kitchen sink. There is also the belief that attacks of fuffling are linked to interesting items observed in the water (eg goldfish, food crumbs, greeblingz....).
Fuffling is most commonly observed in early kittenhood, but older cats have been known to suffer an occassional bout.
"Snudging"
The affected cat repeatedly head-butts any available part of its human and turns its head slightly so that the lips and cheek are rubbed against arms, legs, hands, clothing etc....
This condition gets its name from a contraction of the phrase "Soggy Nudging" and serious cases can result in a significant rise in the volume of laundry produced by the chosen human.
Little Known Feline Ailments:
Feline Intermittent Trance Syndrome:
Intent staring into space or at mundane objects for a substantial length of time.
Symptoms may last from several seconds to several minutes, and in severe cases...many hours.
The world record was set by a Siamese who unblinkingly studied the pattern in a Turkish rug for 3 hours 53 minutes....breaking a long standing record set by a Persian Cross who stared at an exterior brick wall for 3 hours 42 minutes (the presence of ants on the wall led some experts to question the validity of this record).
A reported time of 3 hours 49 minutes by a domestic shorthair was disqualified when the cat was found to have fallen asleep.
"Happy Coat"
(also "Happy Tongue")
A condition most often noted in sleek furred cats.
The cat proceeds to fluff up its fur in pleasure....starting at the base of the tail and continuing forward towards the nose. In extreme cases, the cheeks and forehead also fluff up and the cat is said to have "Purred itself Fuzzy".
"Happy Tongue"
Happy Tongue is signified by a small part of the tongue protruding from the mouth until the cat remembers to tuck it away again.
Seasonally Affective "Door into Summer Syndrome"
This condition was first described by Klaus Strynum in his book of the same name. It manifests at times of inclement weather causing a distinct behavior pattern in the afflicted feline. Once infected, the cat wanders around the house demanding that each external door it comes be immediately opened. On discovering that the weather there is just as nasty and cold as the weather outside the last door inspected, it resumes its frantic search for "The Door into Summer".
The cat remains convinced that one of the doors....on the umpteenth time of opening....will have a beautiful summers day on the other side of it. This affliction is more prevalent in younger cats of an active disposition and is frequently contagious in multi-cat environments.
"Greeblingz"
Greeblingz are believed to be non visible entities that many authorities have linked to UFO sightings feeling that they may be diminitive other-dimensional beings. Cats suffering from the effects of Greeblingz typically have wild-eyed expressions and may appear to be under the influence of a particularly potent batch of catnip. The cat dashes madly throughout the house in pursuit of unseen prey with little or no thought given to obstacles in it's path.....lamps, keepsakes, wall hangings and curtains have been found to be the most common victims, although everything in the household is at risk.
A very few cats are naturally immune to Greeblinz attacks....noone knows why.
In some areas of the world, this condition is also known as "The Flaming Kahooties".
"Fuffling"
The cat lowers its nose into water and exhales.
This is followed by whiffling, sputtering, sneezing, snorting, head shaking and a general expression of utter confusion.
Bath bubbles have been known to trigger attacks of fuffling in some cats, as well as soap suds left in the kitchen sink. There is also the belief that attacks of fuffling are linked to interesting items observed in the water (eg goldfish, food crumbs, greeblingz....).
Fuffling is most commonly observed in early kittenhood, but older cats have been known to suffer an occassional bout.
"Snudging"
The affected cat repeatedly head-butts any available part of its human and turns its head slightly so that the lips and cheek are rubbed against arms, legs, hands, clothing etc....
This condition gets its name from a contraction of the phrase "Soggy Nudging" and serious cases can result in a significant rise in the volume of laundry produced by the chosen human.
posted by lucyfur at 12:21 PM
1 Comments:
this would be more enjoyable if I could read it....
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